Code of conduct

What we expect
of each other

Not a poster in a break room. This is the document we actually use when something goes wrong.

Last updated 18 August 2026 · Version [1.1]

TEMPLATE — NEEDS NBWC'S DECISIONS.
The structure and language are ready to use. What needs filling in: who sits on the review group, the reporting address, and whether the escalation path below matches what you'd actually do. An attorney should read the consequences and appeals sections before publishing.

1. Who this applies to

Everyone, everywhere the Collective exists: at events, in the directory, in the Facebook group, in messages sent through this site, and in one-to-one contact that started here.

That last one matters. If you met through NBWC, how you behave afterwards is still our business.

2. What we expect

  • Show up. Membership is a verb. The directory is only as useful as the people willing to answer it.
  • Give first. Referrals, introductions, and advice move before anyone asks for anything back.
  • Say the real thing. We'd rather hear what went wrong last quarter than what's on your website.
  • Keep the room in the room. What's shared at an event isn't yours to repeat elsewhere unless you're told otherwise.
  • Assume good faith, and say so early. Most friction is a misunderstanding. Raise it while it's small.

3. The directory rule

The public directory is not a mailing list. Members' selected public details are there so people can make genuine connections, never so anyone can broadcast.

Specifically, you don't:

  • Send bulk messages to members you haven't spoken to
  • Cold pitch a service, however warmly it's worded
  • Add anyone to a newsletter, mailing list, or CRM without her asking
  • Copy, export, or scrape member information
  • Pass private member information to anyone outside the Collective

This is the rule most likely to be broken by someone who means no harm, and it's the one that would quietly kill the directory if we let it slide. Breaking it costs your membership.

4. What isn't tolerated

  • Harassment of any kind, including after someone has asked you to stop
  • Sexual attention that isn't wanted, in person or in writing
  • Demeaning or discriminatory comments — about race, ethnicity, religion, disability, age, body, sexuality, gender identity, immigration status, class, or anything else
  • Sharing anyone's private information, photograph, or contact details without consent
  • Photographing or recording someone who's asked you not to
  • Threats, intimidation, or aggression
  • Retaliating against someone for making a report

None of these need to be repeated to count, and none of them are excused by intent.

5. Reporting something

Write to [REPORTING EMAIL ADDRESS], or use the contact form and choose Reporting conduct — put it in the first line and it's handled the same day.

You can ask to stay anonymous to everyone but the reviewer. You do not need to:

  • Have proof
  • Be the person it happened to
  • Be certain it was serious enough
  • Have raised it with the other person first

If you're not sure whether something counts, report it. Deciding that is our job, not yours.

If you're in immediate danger, call 911 first. Tell us afterwards, when you're safe.

6. What happens next

  • Same day — you get a reply confirming we have it and who's handling it.
  • Within [X] days — the review group looks at it. That's [NAMES OR ROLES]. Anyone named in a report steps out of handling it.
  • We'll talk to you first before doing anything that involves you, unless someone's safety means we can't wait.
  • You'll be told the outcome — what was decided and what happens now. We won't share private details about anyone else.

Reports are kept confidential within the review group. We won't tell the person you reported who made the report unless you agree, and we will tell you before we do.

7. Consequences

What we do depends on what happened. In rough order:

  • A private conversation
  • A formal warning on record
  • Being asked not to attend events for a period
  • Removal from the directory
  • Membership ended

Harassment, misuse of member information, and anything that puts a member at risk go straight to the last one. There's no warning ladder for those, and there hasn't been an exception.

8. Appeals

If your membership is ended you can ask for one review, in writing, within [X] days. It's looked at by someone who wasn't involved in the original decision. That decision is final.

[DECISION NEEDED] Who reviews appeals when the Collective is small enough that everyone knows everyone? An outside person, or a member not on the review group? Decide now rather than during a live case.

9. If the problem is one of us

If a report concerns the founder, an administrator, or a review group member, it goes to [ALTERNATIVE CONTACT], and the person concerned takes no part in handling it and sees nothing about it.

A code of conduct that only points downward isn't one.

10. Questions

Anything unclear here is a fault in the writing. Tell us and we'll fix it — contact form or [CONTACT EMAIL].